06 February 2011

Thus spoke Liam - Watch your Language

KB: So yogi, you seem all gung ho about having woken me up?
Me: Yeah dude.. you look smart, I think we should put up our first serious post after the reboot.
KB: Yeah sure..why not..you always say that, but I don't see anything serious or useful or funny or even dull for that matter coming out.
Me: Well KB you see there is this little thing called Writer's Block. You wouldn't understand. Only serious writers (Ahem, yogi thy name is humility) go through such phases.
Blog Mother: Guys, I don't want a pointless banter here between you two. Please start blogging or shut your traps and leave me in peace. Agreed that I am the Blog mother, but even I have my limits, so please don't push it.
Me: Oooooooh, sorry. Somebody is in a bad mood today. Hey buddy looks like she is pissed. We better come up with something before she wreaks havoc in our lives. Man she could do something like pull the plug on the internet or something and we would be in the dark like Egypt these days. Completely without a net connection. Imagine that.
KB: Wow, that is some scary hypotheticals that you are proposing man. I am all ears, what can we do?
Me: You see, I want to restart my retrospective series, but that thing takes a while to start.. you know because I have to have a current story, then wind back to the past and then finish with a strong punch line about changed perspectives. That needs time, creativity and finesse. Something that is in short supply these days.
KB: Ok then post something else.
Me: Yeah the only thing I am good at these days is browsing stuff on my smart phone. (Due to security purposes the smart phone shall be unnamed)
KB: So you are a consumer of information and no longer a creator of information
Me: Yup, I know its sad.
KB:  So....
Me: Ok, Ok, I get it...so here goes my first actual post after the reboot.
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Thus Spoke Liam - "Watch your Language"

This is a new series that begins with the adventures of a pre-schooler who goes by the name Liam. Now Liam is your typical pre-schooler for all practical purposes except when he goes into this deeply mature mode that causes everyone around him to pause and take a second look at him. Their look is primarily to confirm that he indeed is a pre-schooler and not some adult stuck in a pre-schooler's body. These adventures that we embark on are a small glimpse into the world of Liam.

Day 1:
Liam: Dad the other day, I was quietly working on my lesson and this girl in my class came over and pushed me. I was very upset about it.
Dad: Oh is it. Well what did you do?
Liam: I just pushed her back and told her "Go away, Stupid girl"
Dad: (Annoyed) No, No Liam, that is not right. You should not use bad words. Please watch your language. You should have said. "No thank you. Please do not push me"
Liam: Oh. Ok Dad.

Day 3:
(Dad and Liam are driving to the library to pickup books for Liam. The road is packed bumper to bumper and cars are not moving anywhere.)


Dad: Liam, looks like we are going to be waiting here for a long time. Look at all the cars.
Liam: Dad, did you see that lady in the green car. Why is she putting on her makeup while driving?
Dad: Well, she doesn't know better. Thats why.
Liam: Why dad?
Dad: She is probably a very busy person and did not have enough time to put on her makeup at home. But its not safe to do that in the car.
Liam: Ok.

(As they are talking, the traffic starts to ease a bit and cars start moving slowly. Dad's car starts to pick up speed. Just then a massive SUV cuts right in front of Dad's car and makes him slam his brakes to avoid a fender bender. Dad rolls down the driver's window, angrily yells and honks at the SUV)


Dad: (To the SUV) Are you stupid or something?
SUV: (Mumble Jumble)
Dad: Where do these guys come from? Jeez.
(Dad rolls the window back up and continues to drive)
Liam: Dad.
Dad: Yes Liam.
Liam: Dad. Did you know you did something wrong?
Dad: Huh. What did I do?
Liam: You just used a bad word? That is not very nice. You should have said "No Thank you." Instead you used a bad word.
Dad: Oh... Oh...Did I? Oh, I am so sorry buddy. I did not mean to. I am very sorry.
Liam: Yeah please don't repeat it again. Watch your language dad.
Dad: (Sighs) Sure. I will be careful next time.
Liam: Dad, the sun is poking me in my eyes. Can you ask it to move away from the window?
Dad: (Still reeling from whatever hit him)... Huh?

1 comment:

Lady In Read said...

:) I agree and this is my mantra for myself too all the time - not that I end up following it always.. the little ones are forever all ears even when we think they are lost in say, their book or the TV...